On the actual holiday, we joined some of Jeff & Brielle's friends at a park/creek near Sedona. The kids loooooved it.
This was my first year going to ANWA over in Gilbert. I had such an amazing time. I met so many people I had been working with virtually, plus made new friends. I attended wonderful classes and learned so much!
Oh, and there was a costume gala.
Meet Brynn's friend, Brynn!
Quotable Sniders:
*Waiting in line at the bank.*
Guy in front of me: "How can I avoid the FBI freezing my accounts?"
Teller: .....
Guy in front of me: "I mean, like, I have had some big deposits lately, and I'm going to have more. I just don't want the FBI or whatever to think I'm doing illegal stuff...."
Teller: .....
Guy in front of me: "I mean, like, I have had some big deposits lately, and I'm going to have more. I just don't want the FBI or whatever to think I'm doing illegal stuff...."
**Scene- Quick Mart, by the soda**
Me (not showered today) & the 60-something dude
Me (not showered today) & the 60-something dude
Dude: "I'm not homeless anymore. I got in an accident."
Me: (Looks at his face.) "Ohhh my, did you get burned?"
Dude: "Nooo I got all scratched up."
Me: "Looks like it's healing ok though."
Dude: "Yeah. It was pretty bad."
Me: "I hope you feel better!"
Dude: "I'd feel a lot better with someone like you to curl up next to. (Inaudible) husband?"
Me: (Laughing) "Yeah, I like my husband."
Dude: "He's a lucky guy. Thanks for talking. Bless you."
Me: (Looks at his face.) "Ohhh my, did you get burned?"
Dude: "Nooo I got all scratched up."
Me: "Looks like it's healing ok though."
Dude: "Yeah. It was pretty bad."
Me: "I hope you feel better!"
Dude: "I'd feel a lot better with someone like you to curl up next to. (Inaudible) husband?"
Me: (Laughing) "Yeah, I like my husband."
Dude: "He's a lucky guy. Thanks for talking. Bless you."
It wasn’t a breeze to write a novel. More like a tornado + hurricane that doesn’t ever stop.
But there have been bright moments that offer glimmers of light along the way.
Last year I finally “finished” the first draft of my first-ever novel. Which was a huge glimmer of hope.
Then my manuscript went on to editors, beta readers, friends, critique group, and I paid for an evaluation service.
I thought I was getting close to it bring publishable. But the tornado + hurricane was only just getting started.
I've been learning a lot about different aspects of writing at conferences and from podcasts and books and YouTube videos.
I feel like a sponge soaking up all the info. Plus I absolutely have received the most valuable feedback from other writers.
Finally I realized the first draft of my novel was pretty awful. LOL
So now, I am reworking the plot and switching POV to first person and for the first time, I’m not hitting walls or feeling lost. I still have so much work to do.
It hasn’t panned out the way I thought it would. It’s taken so much longer and so much more brain power. I’ve had to dig deep constantly.
Writing has been an absolutely amazing teacher.
The biggest thing I’ve learned is to not fight the storm, but to embrace it.
Here’s to rewriting!!!
Last year I finally “finished” the first draft of my first-ever novel. Which was a huge glimmer of hope.
Then my manuscript went on to editors, beta readers, friends, critique group, and I paid for an evaluation service.
I thought I was getting close to it bring publishable. But the tornado + hurricane was only just getting started.
I've been learning a lot about different aspects of writing at conferences and from podcasts and books and YouTube videos.
I feel like a sponge soaking up all the info. Plus I absolutely have received the most valuable feedback from other writers.
Finally I realized the first draft of my novel was pretty awful. LOL
So now, I am reworking the plot and switching POV to first person and for the first time, I’m not hitting walls or feeling lost. I still have so much work to do.
It hasn’t panned out the way I thought it would. It’s taken so much longer and so much more brain power. I’ve had to dig deep constantly.
Writing has been an absolutely amazing teacher.
The biggest thing I’ve learned is to not fight the storm, but to embrace it.
Here’s to rewriting!!!
I went to an awesome meeting tonight about Mental Health Awareness in Youth (two licensed therapists spoke). Here are the highlights:
There is a trend in youth today to be less resilient (able to adapt to hard situations or bounce back from failure, etc.). Life is easier! Also they spend more time on screens, which aren't reality. The military and colleges are seeing more kids drop out when things get hard. So raise resilient kids by giving them less screen time and more hard things to do, like chores! Teach them how to cope with tough situations. Teach them how to live on their own. And promote lots of outside activities.
D&C 122:7 "...all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."
Awesome info on resilience:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/resilience-spiritual-…
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/resilience-spiritual-…
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Depression & Anxiety are real. Sometimes it's situational (like with a big life change) and other times is biology. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of, and we should talk about it openly in our families.
Elder Holland talked about depression in his Oct 2013 conference talk:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/10/like-a-broken-vess…
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/10/like-a-broken-vess…
Depression affects how we think, and it also affects how our bodies feel. If your teen displays a change in behavior, especially isolation, restlessness, change in sleeping patterns, lack of interest in things they used to like, etc., they could be symptoms of depression. Some with depression feel anger, and many feel an over-arching void or emptiness.
Anxiety has some overlap symptoms, but typically also includes a fear of a future threat, whether real or not. Anxiety can grow to interfere with daily activities and even lead to panic attacks and other issues.
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If you notice symptoms in your children or in other children, it's important to say something. Not everyone is willing to receive your help. And you may not know what to say to someone with anxiety and depression. The most important thing is to covey that you LOVE them and that you CARE.
As you are able, support them in living as balanced as they can. For example, support them in eating balanced meals, encourage them to get exercise in some form, and help them not be isolated. It's really important that they connect with others.
Help them not beat themselves up. Help them be ok with where they are, even though they don't feel awesome. Celebrate the baby steps. Validate their symptoms.
Offer hope. Even if you don't know how or when things will get better, help them to not lose hope.
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Take suicidal threats seriously. Period. In an emergency, go to the ER. Or when appropriate, see a doctor or therapist.
Self-harm has been rising in teens. They are seeing other teens do it. Self-harm (cutting, burning, etc.) can temporarily distract them from the emotional pain they are feeling.
Generally, therapists will guide them to replace the behavior with something else that is healthier. It's important to reduce stress as much as possible so the thoughts are more manageable. Yoga, meditation, exercise, and other comforting activities can help.
Encourage them to release anger and other emotions in a healthy way. One effective way is for them to write out everything they are feeling, then either share it or tear it up.
Pay attention to triggers and track them so you can better manage them.
Teens sometimes won't share their feelings with adults, but they will with their friends. Tell your kids what to do if a friend tells them they want to hurt themselves. It's very important to not keep quiet and to tell an adult. If the situation is extreme, call the police.
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Therapy can offer a way for teens to let out their feelings, work through their emotions, and learn tools to better deal with what's happening.
Try the least invasive options first. For many, a combination of therapy and antidepressants are effective. Antidepressants can help with anxiety and depression, but they can take about 3 weeks to be fully effective. And while some respond well to certain antidepressants, others may not. So there could be some trial and error to see what works.
Here is a great talk by Elder Uchtdorf about hope:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/the-infinite-power-of…
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/the-infinite-power-of…
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It's important to FOCUS on the good things, even when battling depression and anxiety. Do what you can. If all you can do that day is smile at someone, focus on that. Then the next day, do another baby step that is positive. Celebrate that.
Focus on VALUES over goals.
They showed this video about values vs. goals:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lRbuy4XtA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lRbuy4XtA
Goals are great! But if we hyper-focus on goals, then we may only feel "happy" when we reach them. But when we focus on values we find joy in the journey, despite ups and downs.
Example: A goal could be going to Disneyland. A value could be adventure and fun. If you focus on fun and adventure, then you can achieve that in many ways, not just Disneyland (plus your car could break down on the way to Disneyland).
Mindfulness helps us to find joy in the moment. Serving others can help us turn outwards and give us the opportunity to let go of our negative emotions even if for a short time.
A year ago yesterday dad was diagnosed with leukemia. It was one of the worst days of my life.
But he's been responsible for so many of the best days of my life.
I miss him so much. That's just it, though. All of my memories of him are GOOD. And nothing was left unsaid.
He told me he didn't want to leave us, but at the same time he was excited to see what it would be like on the other side.
I have no doubt that he's continuing to grow and serve the Lord. While peeking in on us, especially when his grandkids are doing something silly. Or when Mom or us kids need him.
Life is a constant tug this way and that. Opposition in all things. If you're not sure whether God is real, that's because it's not supposed to be overtly obvious. That would take your power to choose away.
If it's not automatic for you to be happy every minute, that's by design. Your agency is a gift to you as a human.
How will you choose?
The last time I talked to dad, he told me that he DECIDED not to be mad when he was diagnosed with cancer. He could have been angry. He had lived a good life! He had done everything "right"! The man hadn't had a bit of sugar in years!
And yet, he still had a huge obstacle.
I'm sure it wasn't easy to choose to be happy every time he had to have a transfusion or to be in the hospital (he honestly hated it) or to just sit around. But he didn't complain. Instead he got to know all the nurses and doctors, all about their lives. He was the most pleasant patient! Mom was very protective of him, because well, he was good looking even as a sick person.
I watched my dad my whole life make some tough decisions. He was a farmer, and Lord knows things went wrong all the time.
Once, a huuuuge storm came through and it totally ruined a bunch of wheel lines. So we fixed them in between doing the other daily chores.
Once, a bunch of cows walked out onto an icy pond and fell through and died! So we waited until spring and pulled them out.
There were many times he could have felt like he was being picked on or that life wasn't fair.
But I never ever heard him say that or I never felt that attitude from him.
I can still see him standing there, looking out on his fields saying, "Welp, let's get to work, then."
I wish I had even just one more year with him.
But the 40 years I had with him were so packed full of goodness that I'm going to choose to hold them in my heart and just get to work.
So maybe the neighbor’s grandson “accidentally” kicked his soccer ball into our pool.... but we invited him to swim with us anyway.
Every week Brynn colors Jesus
and I have to draw exactly five hearts.
Weird crusty things in the gym pool
Hiring a pool guy who worked at the neighbors
Youth clearing yards in the neighborhood
Dallin driving us home and freaking me out and getting lost
Me driving and running over random weird things
Stopping and a nice kid giving us donuts
Seeing the temple in the distance
And hanging out with Justin Bieber and doing hair flips
—-my dream during my nap
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