The Jon and Carrie Love Story, part 19

Jon is a much more emotional being than I am.

I know that doesn't follow the cliche "emotional woman" and "men never cry" but too bad. Me? I hardly ever cry. (Well, at least that was the case before I had little babies--they kicked my tear ducts into high gear, especially during Hallmark commercials or any sort of baby-related anything). But Jon is a different story.

I first learned of Jon's emotions sometime after we met but before we went on our first date. In other words, it was at a time I still thought he was weird.

It happened one night, after a typical Singles Branch activity-- either Family Home Evening or Institute class or whatnot. A girl in our branch had a house fairly close to the church, and she invited a group of us over to watch a movie.

Being single, living alone, and an eternal nigh-owl (note the time of this post), I always jumped at the chance to hang out with people after hours. I think there were also some new move-ins going and I wanted to get to know them better.

Somehow, probably Jon because he's outspoken, someone decided we should watch Charly. If you're not LDS, you may not have heard of this movie. Let me fill you in: sappy romance that ends tragically.

What a great way to celebrate the night!

I had actually never seen it, but I had heard all sorts of things about it. I decided to stay and watch.

It was going well enough-- the main characters were funny in the way they interacted, and it was nice to see them fall in love-- until the end. All of a sudden, Jon broke the silence.

"Here it comes!!!!"

Everyone giggled. Jon was.... what? Was he fanning his eyes?

Jon had seen the movie before, and he knew what was about to happen. And he was helpless against it. Before I knew what was happening, I saw tears on his face.

What is wrong with him? I thought.

Ok, so the ending was sad. Maybe I shed a tear. Or two. But as I always do, I suavely wiped it away before the credits started rolling. And I certainly didn't broadcast it to the entire group.

At the time it was such an odd thing to me. But in the years that lay ahead, I would come to appreciate Jon's emotions. They have taught me a lot. Thankfully, they have even rubbed off on me a little bit.

Looking back, it's amazing how different we were in this respect. He felt everything. I blocked feeling and was too much a realist. I looked for facts, and Jon was caught up in the excitement. I planned everything to the last second, and Jon let the day go on a whim. He had undying faith, and I only thought I did.

I thought about it many months later. Why shouldn't Jon let people see him cry? Those were emotions of the moment, and he felt them fully. I pushed mine away and hid them. Who was having more fun? Who was more true to themselves?

I challenge you all to find anyone more true to themselves than Jon. He is who he is, and he's not ashamed of that. And I love him for it. He more easily loves, forgives, and is excited about everything. Life is so much more rich with him around. Being his wife for almost six years now, I find myself letting go more, loving more, and allowing myself to let things in life go unplanned. To enjoy the moment. To love the moment.

Because all the planning in the world doesn't always mean you get what you plan for. As you may remember, I had planned on marrying a tall, dark, master's degree bearing, CALM person. But that didn't happen, anyway.

In the end, I think I got an even better deal. >>Continue to Part 20